


The Apples Fallen Far From The Tree

by Totally_Human_Person_123



Series: ASoUE Oneshots [2]
Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket, All the Wrong Questions - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Bertrand has been flirting for ages and Lemony just Does Not Realize that people can like him, But read this first please, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, If you haven't read that then go do that, If you've read the TGWDLM AU the the title might be miss leading, It's by agaylilguitar, M/M, Oblivious Lemony Snicket, Theodora is Bertrand's adoptive mother, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:33:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27204583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Totally_Human_Person_123/pseuds/Totally_Human_Person_123
Summary: Lemony doesn't get something. He doesn't like not understanding things.
Relationships: Bertrand Baudelaire & Lemony Snicket, Bertrand Baudelaire/Lemony Snicket
Series: ASoUE Oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986055
Comments: 7
Kudos: 18





	The Apples Fallen Far From The Tree

**Author's Note:**

> I was in a Lemonberry mood and so I wrote this instead of the other fic I'm supposed to be writing for. Also, have no clue when this takes place other than it's in between ATWQ and ASoUE.

“I don’t get it.”

“What don’t you get?”

“Why did Theodora like you?” Lemony asked indignantly.

“You’re asking why my mother likes me?” Bertrand replied with a small laugh.

“That’s just it, when _I_ became her apprentice she told _me_ that she wasn’t ‘a parent or a guardian or anyone who will take care of you.’” Lemony quoted in his best imitation of S. Theodora Markson. “And yet, she’d already adopted _you_ , her last apprentice.”

“And?” Bertrand raised his eyebrow in a way that most certainly did not make Lemony’s stomach flutter.

“And, I don’t understand why she would want to adopt you.” 

“What does _that_ mean?”

“It _means_ , that you’re incredibly different from her, and Theodora normally prefers people like her.” 

“What makes you think that I’m not like Theodora?”

“For one, she’s not very subtle, and subtly appears to be one of your strong suits.”

“Does it?” Bertrand asked as he picked a daisy from the grass next to him.

Lemony couldn’t figure out what his tone meant but he continued nonetheless, “Two, you’re smarter than she is.”

“Am I?” Bertrand smirked a little.

“Yes.” Lemony found Bertrand to be incredibly infuriating that day, what with his brown eyes, the way he was smirking, everything. It was _infuriating_. “Three, your hair.”

“My… hair?” Bertrand asked with an amused tone as he leaned a little closer to the Snicket lad.

“Uh, yes,” Lemony was not having a good day. He was normally so good with words, and here was Bertrand Markson, messing his whole brain up with a simple smile. It was very rude of him. “Theodora could hide a cat in hers, and I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen you without your hair combed to perfection.”

“You think my hairs perfect?” Bertrand reached up to touch it while Lemony pretended not to notice the blush lightly dusting his friend’s cheeks. 

“Compared to Theodora that is.” Lemony quickly added, glad that Beatrice wasn’t here to see this, she would never let him hear the end of it.

“Uh-huh,” Bertrand said, “And to answer your question, Theodora liked me because I didn’t just tell her when I was going to go against direct orders. I’d tell her what a fantastic job she had done solving the case and that I was going to go for a walk to contemplate her genius while she got some well-deserved rest, and then go solve the case myself and ask whoever hired us to please just let my chaperone continue to think it was her who’d solved it. I also didn’t throw insults at her every chance I got.”

“Ah,” Lemony nodded, ignoring the part about the insults, “So you’re a suck-up.”

Bertrand laughed, “Flattery will get you places Mr. Snicket. By the way, have I ever told you that you have an _incredible_ smile?”

“Be careful Mr. Markson, some might think you’re flirting.” Lemony tried desperately to keep his face from getting any redder.

“That is sort of the point Lemony, has been for quite a while now.” Bertrand chuckled.

“ _Oh,_ " Bertrand leaned a little closer and brought his hand up, hesitated a moment, and then carefully cupped Lemony’s cheek. Lemony leaned in as Bertrand brought the two of them into a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> I've said it before and I'll say it again: Lemony and Theodora were both assholes and it's on VFD for letting them be put together. Like seriously, I want to know who approved that and if it was a "Oh yes, nothing could possibly go wrong here!" thing or a "This is going to HILARIOUS" kind of thing. Anyways, I hope you liked this!


End file.
